Between Staying by Force and Thinking of Leaving:The Story of a Female Journalist Under Censorship and Threat

Part One
“I constantly feel unsafe. When I’m on the move, I feel like someone is following me. I’m afraid I might be questioned, and that my phone and computer could be checked.”
This is only part of the psychological pressure she experiences every day as a female journalist in Afghanistan. Farahnaz, a pseudonym, currently works at a radio station in Kabul. For her, this job has become an unequal and exhausting struggle with life. Every day, she has to endure increasing restrictions imposed on the media and journalists, while also dealing with broader limitations placed on women.
Farahnaz says these restrictions have affected both her professional and personal life. Having no way to escape this situation has led to burnout and constant psychological insecurity. This did not happen overnight. Step by step, new restrictions were imposed on her work, adding more pressure each day, to the point that even she is surprised by how she continues to endure it. She says, “I don’t have any solution for dealing with this pressure. I think I’ve just gotten used to it, and I don’t even understand how I manage to cope.”
During the Taliban’s rule, she worked for more than six months as a reporter at a television outlet, and later continued her work at a radio station as a reporter and editor. She says that being a reporter was, by itself, a daily challenge she had to face while enduring constant mental pressure.
Throughout this time, she had to cope with strict restrictions, from moving around the city to attending press conferences. Enduring these conditions was never easy. Over time, it has taken something away from her, making her feel distant from her true self. As she puts it, “I feel like I’m no longer the person I used to be.”
Farahnaz explains that, whether in television or radio, she constantly faced security threats, lack of access to information, limitations on topics, shrinking workspaces, and restrictions on movement. None of this was easy to handle, and it deeply affected her mental well-being. She says, “When I worked in TV, going out into the city with a cameraman and a driver, who were not considered mahram, was always a problem.”
Another major challenge was the lack of direct access to information and sources. This made it difficult to produce accurate reports. “People were afraid to speak to the media,” she says. “At the same time, they have lost trust in the media and feel that what they say will not be published.”
She also points out that the presence of Taliban forces during reporting made fieldwork even harder. According to her, they closely monitor journalists to prevent any report that might directly or indirectly criticize their rule.
In some cases, there was direct interference. She says intelligence officers repeatedly told her that a woman should not interview men and that such work is unnecessary. In addition, like many other female journalists, she was forced to finish her work before dark, which made reporting even more difficult.
These challenges did not stop there. She says she was directly threatened multiple times by intelligence forces while working in the field. They told her that there is no need for a woman to work as a journalist.
At the same time, strict dress codes added more pressure. She says she was always forced to follow the required dress code and could not wear brighter or fitted clothes, especially during press events. In summer, this became even harder: “In the heat, I had to wear black clothes and a mask.”
She also had to keep physical distance from men during press conferences. This often meant sitting far from the podium and away from her cameraman, which made it difficult to hear the speaker clearly or ask questions.
All these restrictions have not only affected her work but have spread into every part of her life, damaging her sense of psychological safety. And this story is still ongoing.
To be continued…